Especially with the last song, it became clear to me that creativity can stop and reach a low point. As described before, I had great difficulties finding a second part for the first part, and the first attempts led to a disaster.
It may sound immodest, but whenever I get on with a song, I have a total conviction that it is going to be something great that will make music history, and that all the composers of the past are just an irrelevant introduction to what I will ultimately create with my genius. That might sound ridiculous and exaggerated, but I think such feelings of extreme passion and conviction are important to create music at all.
But whenever these creative depths come, and I simply can't achieve simply musical things I have in my mind, I get totally opposite extreme feelings. For this moment, I am convinced that I am totally musically incapable, and my time as a musician is now finally over, and I should probably better deal with other things in the future ...
But creativity is not only about talent, but also about perseverance and the strength to continue working even when everything looks dark. Because after every low, there is a high which ultimately leads to a finished song, which puts me back in a mood that I've written music history, and all composers like Mozart etc. can fuck off in comparison to me
